No Light Work: developing sacred sexuality with Amy White

Amy Lavinia White is the Founder of Temple of the Feminine; a spiritual portal for empowering women.  She is on a Tantric spiritual path.  Through embodied wisdom she inspires women to connect to embrace their physical and emotional body and their innate sensual, sexual power.

The Demented Goddess (DG): Amy, you are a healer and teacher, trained in Eastern practices. You’ve created a women-friendly space to explore sexual power, with classes and workshops on ‘sacred sexuality’.  What is ‘sacred sexuality’ and why do you feel it is integral to a woman’s personal and spiritual growth?

Sex is quite literally the energy of creation. It is the very act that creates new life for souls to inhabit. What could be more beautiful, more sacred, more divine?

When I first started on my spiritual path, like most people, I didn’t factor sex into my journey. I was very much focused on the path of transcendence and sitting for long periods of time in meditation or in my own solo practice, which I still very much enjoy.

I came to Sacred Sexuality through Kundalini practice. I was studying at a Kundalini Tantric Yoga School at the foot of the Himalayas in India. During this experience I awakened my sexual energy and I noticed I was constantly turned on. As I began my sexual awakening all my conditioned views and beliefs and traumas around sex were brought to the surface. It was at once both painful and liberating to embark on healing the deep wounds that I had been carrying around sex.

“All my conditioned views and beliefs and traumas around sex were brought to the surface… healing the deep wounds I’d been carrying around sex.”

Sex is such a huge part of our existence; whether you are having any or not. To deny ourselves as sexual beings is to deny our fullness. It is an area of huge suppression, not only within us but within our whole society so this is no light work but we must do this if we are really going to evolve. We must go there and honour sex and sexuality as the divine gift it really is.

DG: In a culture that encourages us to feel we can control our lives, being open can feel scary.  In what ways are we most commonly blocked from fully realising our ‘sacred sexuality’, in your experience?

The conditioning around women’s bodies and sexuality runs DEEP! In my experience, fully accessing our sexuality starts by embracing our physical body. We will not be able to realise our sacred sexuality if we deny the very portal that it exists in. And given that women’s bodies and the female form are subjected to so much criticism in our society, it is no wonder that many women have not only disassociated from their physicality but reject it. To fully embrace our sexuality we have to realise that our bodies are sacred portals to the divine.

We also become blocked through abuse and trauma. We only have to look at the recent #metoo movement to see how prevalent sexual abuse and harassment is and how we, as a society, are so far from embodying sexual divinity.

If we are shrouded in fear, trauma and shame, it will be difficult, if not impossible to access our sexual energy and realise our sacred sexuality. Women – but not only women – are particularly susceptible to this. In my experience of working with women many of us require safety and trust before we can be fully open to our sexual energy. In a world where women are shamed for having sex and shamed for not having sex, it can feel like a constant battle to keep the external noise out, heal our own personal wounds and rise in our sexual power.

DG: Is “feminine essence” different from masculine?  Don’t we all contain both?  How does either one manifest, in us?

The idea of “Feminine essence” or as I like to call it, the Sacred Feminine, arises from the spiritual concept of duality; that the universe is made up of two polar forces of energy, always at play. And as microcosms of the universe, these energetic forces are reflected within us too. The polar energies are known across various traditions as Yin and Yang, Shiva and Shakti, Ha and Tha (as in Hatha yoga) and the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine. For the universe, and everything in it (us), to be in healthy working order; physically, emotionally and spiritually, these two polar forces need to be balanced and working in harmony.

When the Sacred Feminine is in balance, she is compassionate, creative, passionate and healing. Feminine energy gives us the ability to surrender and receive without being passive. She is loving and nurturing, in tune with nature and the flow of earth as well as her own natural, internal rhythms. When balanced, the divine feminine is able to express passion and anger healthily. She is sensual, wise, intuitive and in flow with life.

On the other hand, a healthy masculine energy is strong and protective. Masculine energy is represented by consciousness. It manifests as a powerful provider, pro-active and physical, practical, logical. A healthy Sacred Masculine has respect and reverence for the Sacred Feminine.

DG: According to a study this year by the British Medical Journal, there has been a steep decline in over-25s and couples who are married or living together having sex.  Obviously, child-rearing takes reduces available time and energy!  But it’s still surprising to our team that 35 to 44-year-old female participants in the study are having sex twice a month.   Those identifying as male of the same age said they had sex three times a month.  How would you encourage people to have more sex – and do you think they should?

Personally, whilst sex can be great, the act of sexual intercourse can become hollow and unfulfilling without real intimacy. Just scheduling in sex or having more sexual activity with your partner does not necessarily strengthen the bond and connection between the two. Overly focusing on having sex lends to more masculine energy. To balance this out we need acceptance, flow and heart connection.

“It’s through developing intimacy that we create the safety our bodies need to open and expand” -Amy White, healer, teacher and founder of Temple of The Feminine.

Intimacy is created by opening up our hearts to one another, a willingness to be vulnerable, to communicate and connect authentically. It’s carving out time to talk and share, to eye gaze, to touch and to hold. It’s through developing intimacy that we create the safety our bodies need to open and expand, to hold the fullness of our sexual selves and be able to share that with another.

And when intimacy is present, I have found that sexual energy flows more easily and on a much deeper level. This is really where it starts. In vulnerability, in truth, in intimacy.

Amy is holding an intimate gathering for women wishing to reclaim their sacred sexuality at Benk + Bo Studio in Spitalfields, London, 19th July.

Instagram : @templeofthefeminine

Facebook: /templeofthefeminine

All photos courtesy of Amy White.

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